Mommy Brag Blog

Parenting engenders a lot complaining.  I can see why.  You get this little bundle of joy popped into your arms (I’m not even going to get into the complaining before that, since it’s usually just the mom’s territory), and you take it home and it wakes you up and makes weird smells and creates noise pollution in your formerly quiet home.

Plus you can’t even have parties whenever you want.  Yeesh.

But this is a positive blog with a positive spin, and although I have been known to whine about my children like every other parent, today is not the day for that.

My kids are awesome.

• They fall asleep between 8 and 9pm.  They stay asleep until at least 7:30am.  They have done this since Corinne was 15 months old and Ashlynn was 9 months old.
• If, by chance they wake up earlier than 7:30, I can give them a stack of books and they will sit in bed and read until I tell them it’s time to “wake up.”
• They say truly hilarious things.  All the time. 
• They are very huggable.  I even hug them when they don’t want me to.  Because they are smaller than me and I can sneak up on them and squeeze them until they collapse into giggles.
• Corinne potty trained herself.  Ashlynn is in the process.
• This seems like ancient history, but they both weaned themselves from the breast and the bottle.  Ashlynn dropped her pacifier overnight and never looked back.
• They take simultaneous naps.  Which means I can, too.
• They help me set the table and get their dishes for themselves, AND they put them in the sink when they are finished.  Oh yeah, I train’em early.
• If I come home from work and Corinne is awake while Ashlynn naps, she’ll cuddle on the couch with me and let me doze.  She’ll even wake me up when her show is over.
• Their take on the world and questions give me a constant new perspective on life, the world, and how I see things.  I love it.

In Which I Tell the Truth and Do Not Care What You Think

Today was a day.

I had to wake up early (er) than usual due to a meeting, and after a three day weekend no less, but the thing is I got out of the house without waking up the husband, the kids, or the dog.  The gerbil was already awake.  I claim no blame for that.

When I do wake up the children, I always think “Man, wouldn’t getting ready be easier if they were still in bed?”  And when I do not wake up the children, I always think “Man, now I can’t kiss and hug them before I leave.”  Because I am impossible to make happy, that’s why.

I temporarily subbed in kindergarten this morning.  It was fun because I absolutely love kindergarten.  It was unfun because I had no clue what I was doing.  Fortunately, 5 year olds are pretty easy to fool.  They had no idea I had no idea.  We were all idea-less together.  It was awesome.  And we sang songs.  One involved sticking our butts out, so that was a big hit.  More awesomeness.  That’s why I don’t teach high school.  Because they would have to be all snotty and call me on having no clue what I was doing.  And they’d probably comment nastily on me and my butt sticking out.

I came home to hear that my children had been wonderful for the babysitter.  I don’t know what children she’s watching, but they are not mine.  I don’t know why I pay this woman to watch other people’s angelic children.

Within three minutes of my being home, Corinne had jumped off the arm of the couch twice.  She landed on the dog the second time.

We went to Burlington to return the too-small dress shirt my husband had purchased.  My daughters took turns running down the aisle to try on different funky men’s hats, then running back to show them off.  Usually I stop them from doing this, but today I had put on my tired mom hat so I just pretended I didn’t notice.  Oddly enough, everyone lived.  Stores shouldn’t put straightways around the place if they don’t want races, is what I say.

When we got home I intended on putting in some quality play time but instead we laid on the couch and watched Disney movies because the temperature has fallen below 70 so I am preparing for hibernation.  Thanks Walt Disney for raising my children today!

During the ten minutes I got to see my husband (and by see I mean talk on the phone over screaming children between his double shifts) Corinne slammed Ashlynn’s finger in the door.  If I ever find the direct connection between my phone’s power button and my children’s volume, I WILL sever it posthaste.

Corinne is beginning her second and final year of preschool tomorrow.  I am pretending this is not happening.  If I pretend hard enough she will just be a baby again and the end.  She may protest the diapers but I bet she’d take a bottle in a red hot second.  I am also pretending that I wam not completely missing having a part in it, since my husband will drop her off and the sitter will pick her up.

Thus, the day.  Now I am watching Hoarders and typing a blog.  I should cricut some stuff.  But meh.  It’s that kind of day, I say!