In Which I Tell the Truth and Do Not Care What You Think

Today was a day.

I had to wake up early (er) than usual due to a meeting, and after a three day weekend no less, but the thing is I got out of the house without waking up the husband, the kids, or the dog.  The gerbil was already awake.  I claim no blame for that.

When I do wake up the children, I always think “Man, wouldn’t getting ready be easier if they were still in bed?”  And when I do not wake up the children, I always think “Man, now I can’t kiss and hug them before I leave.”  Because I am impossible to make happy, that’s why.

I temporarily subbed in kindergarten this morning.  It was fun because I absolutely love kindergarten.  It was unfun because I had no clue what I was doing.  Fortunately, 5 year olds are pretty easy to fool.  They had no idea I had no idea.  We were all idea-less together.  It was awesome.  And we sang songs.  One involved sticking our butts out, so that was a big hit.  More awesomeness.  That’s why I don’t teach high school.  Because they would have to be all snotty and call me on having no clue what I was doing.  And they’d probably comment nastily on me and my butt sticking out.

I came home to hear that my children had been wonderful for the babysitter.  I don’t know what children she’s watching, but they are not mine.  I don’t know why I pay this woman to watch other people’s angelic children.

Within three minutes of my being home, Corinne had jumped off the arm of the couch twice.  She landed on the dog the second time.

We went to Burlington to return the too-small dress shirt my husband had purchased.  My daughters took turns running down the aisle to try on different funky men’s hats, then running back to show them off.  Usually I stop them from doing this, but today I had put on my tired mom hat so I just pretended I didn’t notice.  Oddly enough, everyone lived.  Stores shouldn’t put straightways around the place if they don’t want races, is what I say.

When we got home I intended on putting in some quality play time but instead we laid on the couch and watched Disney movies because the temperature has fallen below 70 so I am preparing for hibernation.  Thanks Walt Disney for raising my children today!

During the ten minutes I got to see my husband (and by see I mean talk on the phone over screaming children between his double shifts) Corinne slammed Ashlynn’s finger in the door.  If I ever find the direct connection between my phone’s power button and my children’s volume, I WILL sever it posthaste.

Corinne is beginning her second and final year of preschool tomorrow.  I am pretending this is not happening.  If I pretend hard enough she will just be a baby again and the end.  She may protest the diapers but I bet she’d take a bottle in a red hot second.  I am also pretending that I wam not completely missing having a part in it, since my husband will drop her off and the sitter will pick her up.

Thus, the day.  Now I am watching Hoarders and typing a blog.  I should cricut some stuff.  But meh.  It’s that kind of day, I say!