A Poem for the Real Mom

Mother’s Day is coming up, and I have a little revelation to make. Being a mom is hard. I mean, pregnancy and labor and delivery aren’t easy by any means, but in comparison, that’s one of the easier things you will do as a mom.

There’s no perfect way to do it, no one “right way” to pull it off. More often than not, being a mom is flying by the seat of your pants, scrambling at the last minute, and winging it the best you can to try to keep everyone at least moderately happy without going crazy yourself. We are pinch hitters, us mothers.

And the truth is, if it works for you and your family and nobody’s getting hurt, go for it. Chances are, it probably won’t work for the next kid or possibly even tomorrow, so run with it for now.

And I’ve got a bone to pick with the internet and Facebook. I’m standing up for all us mothers out there. I have issues with this:

And this:

Don’t get me wrong. They’re adorable little poems, and I appreciate the sentiment. And I know (more than I ever admit to myself) that babies grow up WAY too fast.

But seriously. Poems and signs like those just pour gasoline on the ever-burning flame of mom-guilt that we all possess. C’mon. You know you have it too. You’re frantically doing the dishes and a little one comes running up asking “Mommy, can you play?” and because there are no clean forks to eat dinner with, you have no choice but to answer “In a few minutes, sweetie.” And then you think of one of the above poems (or something similar) and BLAM! You suddenly feel guilty for doing the dishes.

I’m sorry…but WHAT? Why should you feel guilty for only doing what needs done? Let’s be real, friends. Yes, we’d all like to spend more time with our kids. But realistically, life doesn’t work that way, and we shouldn’t give in to the false expectation that if life doesn’t work that way, we are doing something wrong. That, my mommy friends, is bull-pucky.

As one mom to another, I give you permission to sit down, relax, and know that your kids will be just fine if they play by themselves for a moment, that your baby will survive if you do not hold him or her every second. We are moms. That’s a million jobs rolled into one. If you do even half of them mostly well, you’re way ahead of the game. And no matter what, you’re doing just fine.

And so, (hang THIS on your wall instead!) I give to you:

A Poem for the Real Mom

Playtime with my kids is always priority one,

but sometimes, my friends, other things must get done.

I’m not a fan of making my kids wait their turn,

but it has to happen sometimes or dinner will burn.

And as much as I love playing games with my brood,

someone has to do laundry or we’ll all go nude.

And I can’t always leave the whole house a mess,

or some nosy neighbor will call CPS.

Sometimes I feel like such a big jerk,

when I wake up each morning and head off to work.

But housing and food are never bought free,

and my family and kids are depending on me.

Some days it’s enought that everyone gets dressed and fed,

so don’t give a thought to what others have said.

Remember that “mom” is a balancing act

and from day number one, your life will be packed.

Play with your kids, do the chores and the rest,

and NEVER let anyone tell you you’re less than

THE BEST!

Happy Mother’s Day!!

I Am Going to Join the Circus

Do you know what I’ve noticed? 

I’ve noticed that the majority of my blog referrals come from Facebook. 

I’ve also noticed that when I post a blog to Facebook, the first 30 or so words from my blog appear next to the link.

So, I think I should make the effort to make those first 30 words really electrifying and gripping.  Like, “And then my hair was on fire.”

Except obviously not this time, since I just blew my first 50 words talking about my first 30 words.  So stay tuned!

I have decided that my talents are quite suited for the circus. 

I’m going to be a professional juggler.

Except, you know. I can’t juggle.

PHYSICAL OBJECTS!!

But.  But! BUT…

I can juggle a million other things.  I do it without really thinking, too.  I am an absent-minded juggler.  Wouldn’t you pay millions of dollars or at least a quarter to see an absent-minded juggler?!

I daily juggle motherhood, wifehood, daughterhood, teacherhood, car hoods, sisterhood, bill-payer-hood.  I’m all up in the hood, apparently.

And I could make you a big list of the little things that go into each one of those big things, but that would be boring and I am also not that much of a whiner or attention whore.  Plus if I saw an actual list of this stuff, I would be all overwhelmed and probably just freak the heck out.

This, for example, is my partial grocery list. That woman in the center must be a neighbor that wandered in and got lost. Cuz she sure as hell ain't my secretary!

The good news is that I seem to pulling it all off.  Or give the impression of doing so, anyway.  And instead of being all overwhelmed, I am actually really happy with my busy, crazy life. 

(Well. Usually. I have my moments when I am like OHMYGOD)

(And except for laundry.)

(I hate laundry.)

(But I love parentheses!)

And I seem to be doing okay.  Neither of my children is in therapy.  They actually seem to love me most of the time except when I say “No, you cannot have one more squinkie or mommy will just explode.”

My husband still hangs around and seems to like me.

And I’m getting lots of praise for my teaching.

So I must be doing something right!

Plus, I love to look at the optimistic side of things.  I’m busy and crazy but I’m never bored…and I interact with so many people in a positive way that I have a smile on my face at least 90% of every day.  Who can complain about that?

Look at me juggling happily! Isn't my hair cute? Oh wait, that's not me. I don't have shoes that color. Or lips that big.

 Although I do have to admit that some things may slip through the cracks.  Which may be why I toured the entire Akron Zoo yesterday with my shirt inside out.  You win some, you lose some.