My Dog is a Reincarnated Serial Killer

 

I’ve mentioned my dog before, have I not?  The mutt we adopted from the humane society after our previous dog’s sudden passing.

I believe I have also mentioned that he is psychotic?

Well, you know, I don’t just make that claim frivolously.

I have proof.

My dog is a reincarnated serial killer.

His ears are propped open to hear the faint screams of stuffed animals left unattended

Ever watch CSI or Criminal Minds or Dexter or whatever?  Man, those serial killer creepers are always keeping “mementos” from the people they killed.

Every single time Jax decides to chew one of my daughter’s toys (which is often), he removes something from its face and hides it. 

Former build a bear puppy. Now a crime against nature...its eyeball on the other side is missing, too. Ugh. Doesn't it look RABID?!

Somewhere in my house, there is a stockpile of plastic noses and eyeballs.

Also?  A ladybug antenna from Ashlynn’s pillow pet.

Corinne's unicorn pillow pet fared less well

You will know the day I find it, because it will be on the news:

Suburban Mother of Two Has Heart Attack,

Whoops Dog’s Ass Simultaneously

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