A Poem for the Real Mom

Mother’s Day is coming up, and I have a little revelation to make. Being a mom is hard. I mean, pregnancy and labor and delivery aren’t easy by any means, but in comparison, that’s one of the easier things you will do as a mom.

There’s no perfect way to do it, no one “right way” to pull it off. More often than not, being a mom is flying by the seat of your pants, scrambling at the last minute, and winging it the best you can to try to keep everyone at least moderately happy without going crazy yourself. We are pinch hitters, us mothers.

And the truth is, if it works for you and your family and nobody’s getting hurt, go for it. Chances are, it probably won’t work for the next kid or possibly even tomorrow, so run with it for now.

And I’ve got a bone to pick with the internet and Facebook. I’m standing up for all us mothers out there. I have issues with this:

And this:

Don’t get me wrong. They’re adorable little poems, and I appreciate the sentiment. And I know (more than I ever admit to myself) that babies grow up WAY too fast.

But seriously. Poems and signs like those just pour gasoline on the ever-burning flame of mom-guilt that we all possess. C’mon. You know you have it too. You’re frantically doing the dishes and a little one comes running up asking “Mommy, can you play?” and because there are no clean forks to eat dinner with, you have no choice but to answer “In a few minutes, sweetie.” And then you think of one of the above poems (or something similar) and BLAM! You suddenly feel guilty for doing the dishes.

I’m sorry…but WHAT? Why should you feel guilty for only doing what needs done? Let’s be real, friends. Yes, we’d all like to spend more time with our kids. But realistically, life doesn’t work that way, and we shouldn’t give in to the false expectation that if life doesn’t work that way, we are doing something wrong. That, my mommy friends, is bull-pucky.

As one mom to another, I give you permission to sit down, relax, and know that your kids will be just fine if they play by themselves for a moment, that your baby will survive if you do not hold him or her every second. We are moms. That’s a million jobs rolled into one. If you do even half of them mostly well, you’re way ahead of the game. And no matter what, you’re doing just fine.

And so, (hang THIS on your wall instead!) I give to you:

A Poem for the Real Mom

Playtime with my kids is always priority one,

but sometimes, my friends, other things must get done.

I’m not a fan of making my kids wait their turn,

but it has to happen sometimes or dinner will burn.

And as much as I love playing games with my brood,

someone has to do laundry or we’ll all go nude.

And I can’t always leave the whole house a mess,

or some nosy neighbor will call CPS.

Sometimes I feel like such a big jerk,

when I wake up each morning and head off to work.

But housing and food are never bought free,

and my family and kids are depending on me.

Some days it’s enought that everyone gets dressed and fed,

so don’t give a thought to what others have said.

Remember that “mom” is a balancing act

and from day number one, your life will be packed.

Play with your kids, do the chores and the rest,

and NEVER let anyone tell you you’re less than

THE BEST!

Happy Mother’s Day!!

Find Your Joy

I love movie soundtracks and songs.  I have an entire Iphone playlist devoted to Disney songs, and another devoted to just Glee songs (What?  They cover a lot of great stuff!)

But one of my favorite lines is from the song “Ever Ever After” performed by Carrie Underwood for the Disney movie Enchanted:

There is joy to be claimed in this world.

I love how that is phrased.  There is joy to be claimed.  Just like my banner says “Choose Happiness.”  You must choose it.

Happiness is not passive.  No one is going to drag you out in the world and show you something great and say, “Now be happy, dammit!”  No one is going to make sure you have all you ever wanted.  No one can change your point of view but you.  No one can force you to be unhappy, that seems to be almost a cliche.  But on the opposite side of the coin, you don’t stumble onto happiness and joy either.  You have to find it, look for it, choose it, claim it.  There is joy to be claimed in this world.

And I’m not here to feed you that “Stop and smell the flowers” line of BS, either.  I have three children and a full time job.  I don’t have time to stop and smell if the trashcan is ripe, let alone flowers.  But moments of joy and happiness don’t take even that long.  There is no “stopping” involved.  All you have to do is mentally pause and savor the moments that make you happy.

Here are some things that I choose to make me happy:

Walking outside on my million errands and realizing how fresh the outdoors smell after a spring rainshower

The way my husband’s arms sneak around my waist while I cook or clean

Kissing my children and covering them up before I head upstairs to bed

Hearing a noise and realizing it is my newborn’s tiny snores

Watching the dog’s comic antics with his bone

Smelling dinner cooking

Hearing my favorite song on the radio

Or turning the radio up really loud to sing along with a song with the kids

Seeing my child fall and pick herself back up without crying

Having lunch with a good friend (ok, I admit this one does take some time-but worth it!)

Being able to roll car windows down or open house windows after a long winter

Sloppy kid kisses

Wilty dandelion bouquets from my kids

Newborn snuggles that make you comfy and sleepy

A hot bath with bubbles

Opening a good book and smelling that wonderful library smell

Trying and showing off a new recipe

Smiling at someone and having them smile back

Seriously, there are so many more I could list.  Honestly, just making that list made me smile.  The choice is not so much about forcing yourself to be happy, but about changing your viewpoint so you look for the positive and release the negative.  It’s hard to do.  I fail at it some days.  Our brains are programmed to look for the bad, but it’s a tendency that can be overcome with a little effort.  It’s worth it.  Give it a try.

 

Ten Thought Tuesday! On a Wednesday! That’s How I Roll.

Ok, so I saw this idea somewhere to have “Ten Thought Tuesday” on your blog.  Every Tuesday, you just jot down ten random thoughts about whatever.  I like this idea.

But I’ve already  failed because it is WEDNESDAY.

Y’all, I even put a reminder with an alarm in my phone for this.  And it went off.  And I ignored it.  I can’t even blame it on the new baby (birth story to come) because he was sleeping.

I hang my head in failure.  Boo.

However, better late than never!  I give you…Ten Thought Tuesday!  (ish)

 

1. Why is there a cliche that new mom’s don’t even have time to take a shower?  My showers take, like, ten minutes.  My newborn sleeps for three hours at a time.  How is this math difficult?

2. My kid got a black eye on the playground by running into another kid.  I’m seriously contemplating making up a really inventive story about how it happened.  Just for funsies.

3. Ants are invading my kitchen and my dog licks them off the floor.

4. Honest Trailers on Youtube are some of the funniest things ever.

5. I am re-reading one of my favorite series (The Rowan series) from Anne McCaffrey and I am still depressed she passed away in November and I will never read a new book written by her.

6. Regarding #5…I re-read comforting favorite books when my life gets crazy because they are predictable and familiar.  Anyone else?

7. Wordles are a hell of a lot of fun.

8. I need to buy a mini-van for my suddenly larger family.  Car shopping falls on my “List of Things I Enjoy Doing” right below “be set on fire.”

9. It is kind of hard to think of ten random things.

10.  I love my kids so much.  I can’t quit staring at the new baby and looking at my two big girls and just being amazed they all belong to me.

Big Sister Bags

Since the little guy bumping around in my belly will be our last baby, I wanted to do something special for the girls that will have their world turned upside-down in ways they never imagined in the next few weeks.  They are so very super excited, and the nursery is frequently full of their stuffed animals as they “practice” for the baby.

The idea for big sister bags is floating around out there on the internet, but there isn’t a super great set of instructions or ideas to follow.  I was surprised…that’s twice in several months that google has failed me!

So I did the footwork for you and explored several lists of ideas, as well as polling my Facebook friends, and put together (in my opinion), some super cute sibling bags!  They would easily be adjusted into “Big Brother” bags or changed if the baby on the way is a girl instead of a boy.  Most of the items are pretty gender neutral.

Bags

Well, first off I started with finding some cute bags.  I was going to get the reusable cloth ones, but A) I couldn’t find any I liked and B) we already have a ton and my girls are crazy for filling ANY available container full of junk and then leaving it lay around (which drives ME crazy).  So, I found these throw-away gift bags at the Dollar Store!  They look like purses!  Just like big sisters would have!

Cards and Stickers

Next came a “Congratulations” card-I just found one that was a generic “Congrats on your new baby boy” (again at the Dollar Store) and wrote a special message inside for Ashlynn and Corinne.  I also included some baby themed scrapbooking stickers…cuz who doesn’t love themself some stickers?

Shirts and Books

I have recently become a super-huge fan of printable iron-on transfer paper, since you can pretty much make anything into a shirt with it.  I Googled a few images and used Microsoft Publisher to make headlines, then printed them.  I got two plain white T-shirts from our local kid stuff resale shop super cheaply.  Five minutes with the iron later and ta-dah!, we had two personalized shirts!  Ashlynn’s says “Little Sister AND Big Sister” and Corinne’s says “Big Sister!  AGAIN!”  Then I buzzed over to my new favorite book site thriftbooks.com (used books in great condition, cheap and with free shipping!!) and ordered them each a different big sister book to read.  Corinne is getting How to Be a Baby . . . by Me, the Big Sister and Ashlynn will have Best-Ever Big Sister.  Grand total for both, only $8!

          

Candy and Hand Sanitizer

My kids are weird because they like buttermints.  I found some at the Dollar Store as well as cute little treat bags for them in their baby shower section.  Everyone enjoys a little treat!  I also got them personal bottles of hand sanitizer because they love using mine AND to reduce the germs around the new baby.  (They would seriously bathe in the stuff if I let them-they love it!)

First Memory Stuff: Camera, Frame, and Photo Album

My girls adore my digital camera…the other day there were 400 pictures on it and only 200 were recognizable (I didn’t say they were GOOD with my camera.)  So I bought them each their own disposable camera to use when the baby arrives!  I also bought them a wooden picture frame to decorate for their favorite picture (97 cents at Walmart) and a little photo album for the rest when they get developed-I can imagine the pics will be pretty interesting and hilarious!

Baby Helper Kit

I know the girls will want to “help” with the baby, but of course they will be limited in how much they can do.  (If anyone has tips on teaching small children to change diapers, be sure to let me know.)  Thinking of what they could do, I put together a “Baby Helper Kit” for each of them.  First, I found small plastic containers (again at the Dollar Store), then I bought the following items to include:

• Mini baby powder- for diaper change help!
• Mini Boogie wipes pack-in case baby dribbles or sneezes (also my kids love the words boogie and booger)
• Tissues-to wipe baby’s nose or help clean messes
• Mini baby lotion-to put on baby’s tummy or feet
• Baby wash cloths-to help with his baths
• Socks-they can be on “Keep baby’s feet warm!” alert…also they are obsessed with his tiny adorable socks

I did NOT include a bottle-although I was tempted-because I nurse and I didn’t want them to be disappointed or constantly bug to feed him.  But…bottles may be something you want to include depending on your preferences.

 

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The grand total for each bag was about $20-$25, which may seem a little steep to some, but  if you consider that ordering a personalized “sibling” shirt from CafePress costs $18-25 plus shipping and handling, I don’t think it’s bad at all!  And, of course, you don’t have to put ALL this stuff in there!

You are welcome to use, pin, or link to my ideas, just please give credit and link to my blog!!

Also, please share any additional ideas in the comments…I’m sure I could cram a few more things in there!

Superhero Nursery-Assembled!

We wanted to re-do the nursery for our upcoming new arrival (which is only about 3 1/2 weeks away…wow and yikes and a whole lot of other interjections!)

When we found out he was a boy, we knew that it was time to change up the neutral green and yellow, since this room will remain his for life.  We chose to do it in a blue gray color (called steel blue) with dark red trim and white accents.  This can then be easily adjusted to lots of interests or themes-nautical, USA, whatever as he grows without having to repaint constantly.

When we moved furniture, we found this astonishing, tiny footprint on the wall.  I outlined it and wouldn’t let my husband paint over it.  I have no idea how an infant that tiny had such dirty feet, but I’m so glad they did!  <—-sentimental preggo woman, right here

Anyway, here is how the room looked once painted:

Cubicles courtesy of a Target sale.  Sigh.  I love Target.

Light switch plate from Walmart and my dad handmade the Batman symbol!

Now, we had to find some superhero decorations.  Wow, was that hard to do.  There is plenty of superhero stuff, but it is all for older boys.  Scary villains, overwhelming big scenes, twin sheet sets.  It was time to get creative!!

We decided we didn’t want it to be over the top superhero-he will be tiny and we just didn’t want it to be “too much” or “overdone.”  So we skipped the movie posters and the fathead stickers and all that stuff.  We also decided on a mix of DC and Marvel-no easy task.

First, we started to collect eclectic little hero figures whenever we found them.  We wanted them to be varied and different.  After painting, we hung a few white shelves and added them.  Super cute and effective.  I especially love the stuffed Wolverine…he has an Elvis sneer!

But we still wanted to feature specific superheroes and their awesome costumes, but how?

Then, I got an idea!  What if we put black and white pictures on the wall of heroes, and then painted the frames to coordinate with their costumes?  It would highlight the superheroes, go well with the colors of the room, and give a “pop” of color without being overstated.  What the hey, we figured we’d try it!  I found frames with fairly thick edges at Pat Catan’s for about $3.50 each and spent $1 a bottle on acrylic paints.  Here’s how they turned out:

Top row: Iron man-red sides, gold top and bottom and Green Lantern-hunter green with black side accents

Middle row: Wolverine-yellow with slashes and the X-men logo and Spiderman red with black webbing

Bottom row: Hulk with green sides, black top, purple bottom and Batman with black sides, yellow top and bottom, and the Bat Symbol

We were going to just google some black and white sketches of each hero, but my husband has a friend who is an excellent graphic designer, and he offered to hand-draw original sketches for the baby!  How cool is that?!  Check these bad boys out: (And they are all boys, although I plan on sneaking Wonder Woman or Storm or something in there somehow-strong female role models are nifty.)

Here’s how they looked once we had them up on the wall above our brand-spanking new crib (thanks, product recalls):

We thought things looked a little uneven over by the light switch, so we added one more Avenger to the mix…

What’s hap’n, Cap’n?

So here’s the final layout…not bad considering we spent a grand total of about $30 on the whole idea.  That’s the other thing about superhero stuff…it is pr-ice-y!!

Let me know what you think and feel free to pin, link, or re-post.  Hopefully others out there planning hero nurseries find this because I know we had a lot of trouble locating good ideas even on the big old world wide web!

Hopefully I’ll have the chance to update at least once or twice more before our little guy arrives to enjoy his awesome new room!

Let It Go

 

My life, it has been crazy since approximately last May 1st when I got hired into a new job.  I am starting to think that 2012-2013 will be the year that disappeared as a sudden and abrupt blur in my review mirror.

And so, I have a theme.

Let it go.

I am not good at this theme.  I find it very hard.  But this year, I have adopted it (although sometimes kicking and screaming) because I have really not had much choice.  It was  either let it go or keel over.

 

I like my house to be clean and neat and tidy.  I tell people this is so it looks ok if anyone happens to randomly drop by, but secretly it is because clutter drives me crazy and also I am way too lazy to actually look for stuff if it isn’t where it belongs. (“Lazy” is what you call throwing stuff and cussing a lot, right?)

But this hasn’t happened this year.  More often than not, the sink is full of dishes, the hampers are full of laundry, and there could be a large number of illegal immigrants hiding in the piles of toys in my children’s room for all I know.

Let it go.

I usually scrapbook and craft and work constantly on some project or another.  Not this year.  I haven’t touched my cricut since August, which is truly appalling to those who know me well.

Let it go.

I spend much of winter and spring breaks cleaning and rearranging and organizing things.  It is my chance to get “ahead” of the cleaning.  It didn’t happen this year.  For at least the last four months of my pregnancy, the baby has been sitting oddly on my pelvis so I limp all the time.  It just couldn’t happen if I wanted it to.

Let it go.

Between work and grad school and homework and pregnancy, I go to bed every night berating myself that I haven’t been mom of the year, that I should have played/read/chatted etc more with the girls.  This one has been the hardest for me, because I feel like they got short-changed more than anyone this year, but then I look at them and realize that they are happy and healthy and so very, very loved…and they know it.  My time with them will increase, and for now, though it’s hard, I need to

let it go.

I haven’t written in my blog hardly at all.

Let it go.

Sometimes I forget a bill or deadline or something in the craziness of life and things get done a day or two late. (I hate late.)

Let it go.

We eat out more often than we should because time just goes by so quickly most nights.

Let it go.

Perhaps, dear readers, one of the hardest things to let go happened with this blog.  I love this blog.  I love sharing my life with you and making you laugh and reading your comments and feedback and watching my view numbers grow.  Yet someone, with no sense of humor, who had not read all of my blog or even much of it, told someone of importance to me that it was inappropriate, and so I will no longer talk about my career on here at all.  Even though I was careful and considerate and made sure nothing I wrote on here could ever, ever impact what I do.  Some people don’t understand that, and I feel badly for them.  My first initial angry knee jerk reaction was just to delete the blog completely and be done.  But then I looked at my past posts and realized that I have documented so many of the great, silly, and funny things that happened in my life.  I couldn’t just scrap thousands of words I have written.  So, I saved and then deleted all my career posts.  All my ideas and stories and encouragements for those who do what I do.  I am sorry if you are looking for them.

For now, this blog will only be about me, my family, and this crazy thing we call life.  I’m happy with that.  I have a lot to share and I’d like you to hang in there with me.   There are still lots more adventures to be had!

Until then, give yourself a break.  Sit back.  Relax.  Let it go.  It will all turn out ok.

 

 

Not Just Yours

I’ve been pregnant twice.  And baby makes three.

I adore being pregnant, but if there’s one thing pregnancy does, it makes you very, very aware that you are not in charge.  At all.

First of all, you have to wait ten months for something.  40 weeks.  280 days.  Sometimes more than that.  It doesn’t even matter if you WANT to wait that long, you gotta.  Tough.  Seriously, what else do you wait ten months for?  Even people who schedule vacations usually only do it about six months before.  Maybe a wedding.  But there’s plenty of other wedding stuff to do while you wait.  Or you can decide to elope.  But a baby requires patience before it even arrives (and way more afterwards).

Second, as soon as that little pink line appears, you are a duplex.  And the baby is the super.  Here are things I (thought I) learned from my first two pregnancies:

Morning sickness is in the morning.

Nope.  All day this time.

Morning sickness goes away at 12 weeks.

Nope.  Try 24.

You get bigger, faster with each subsequent pregnancy.

Nope.  At almost 27 weeks, I can still pull off looking not pregnant in certain outfits.

Girl heart rates are higher than boys’.

Wrong.

Baby first kicks at about 18 weeks.

Nope.  16.

Braxton Hicks contractions start at 7 months.

Try 5 1/2.

See what I mean?  Even though I’ve been around this block twice before, Mother Nature (or God, or both) still want to let me know that seriously, I have no clue.  I think it’s natures way of telling you to move over, you aren’t driving anymore.  Your body is not yours, your belly and bladder and appetite and hormones and gag reflex are not yours.  You don’t even recognize your own butt in the mirror because I don’t remember it being that big, for crying out loud.

And, of course, labor is the ultimate hostile body takeover…and if you breastfeed, you boobs aren’t going to be yours for a very long time.  Neither are your nights!

And it doesn’t end there.  Your shower time is not yours.  Your private time in the bathroom is not yours.  Your purse is not yours.

Children teach you to share everything.  And to let it go.  That is my theme for 2013 this year.  Let it go.  I need to stop worrying about stuff I can do nothing about.  Let it go.  That’s my resolution.  Pregnancy is helping me achieve that goal for sure.

Ok.  Time for another story.  I’m chronically hypoglycemic.  I don’t talk about it because I am not a whiner and seriously it is not even that interesting.  It just means that my blood sugar is always lower than it should be.  And if I eat the wrong thing, it get dangerously low and I get weak and shaky and dizzy and can potentially pass out.  I control it with diet and it is no big deal except it does help me stay thin so whoo! for a decent side effect.

This is what it looks like.   That ugly yellowish brown line is me:

Well, kind of.  Except my sugar can drop into the teens, so I wouldn’t fit on that chart.  Anything below 70 is considered dangerous. It can be as dangerous as diabetes, with comas and all that good stuff.  Creepy, but rather uninteresting.

So you can just IMAGINE my surprise when my ob called to tell me I might have gestational diabetes!!  See??  Not in charge!!

I had to go in today for a three hour glucose tolerance test.  It went exactly as that chart shows-at three hours I was not doing so hot.  Can’t wait to hear those results!  I’ll keep you posted.

What’s in a Name?

Turns out we have to name this little man growing in my tummy.

Turns out that’s harder than we thought!

Since my first pregnancy, the name we had picked for a boy was Luke Brant.  We didn’t use it for Corinne, obviously.  We upcycled the name for Ashlynn’s pregnancy, but again didn’t need it.  It’s always kind of been in the back of our minds.  But now that we really DO get to name a little boy, we aren’t so sure it’s a keeper.

Here’s the thing.  The girls’ names are pretty unique, and each has a special story behind it.  Not that I don’t love the name Luke, but it doesn’t have really special significance to us as the girls’ names do.  Brant will stick as a middle name-it has it’s own special meaning to our family.

Let me tell you the girls’ name stories.

Corinne Nicole  is named after my fourth grade teacher, Karen.  She was one of three teachers that inspired me to teach, and my life has so much meaning because of my career!  We changed it up a little bit to Corinne to put a unique spin on it.  Her middle name is Nicole because really we just liked Nicole, but it means “victory,” and there was a chance we wouldn’t even be able to get pregnant with her, so it really did become a victory to hold our first little girl in our arms!  (The delivery was an uphill battle, too.)

Ashlynn Cari is actually named after three different people!  My name is Amy (duh) and my middle name is Lynn, so that gave us Ashlynn.  Her maternal grandmother’s name is Cathy and her paternal grandmother’s name is Lori, so we took the CA from Cathy and the RI from Lori to make Cari.  I also love that her name is unique without being totally weird or out there.

So now we have a boy to name, and as much as I really do like Luke, I’m just not sure…guess I should say I’m open to other ideas!  Too bad I seem to have such crazy criteria:

1. Unique, but not weird (no getting picked on on the playground, preferably)

2. Maybe starting with K, since Kirk’s name does?  (His middle name is James)

3. Has to go with Brant for a middle name and can’t spell anything weird with the last initial H

4. Both the girls’ names have 7 letters and 2 N’s-this was a coincidence, but maybe we could carry it on in baby boy?  Not sure

5. Not too long-our last name has TEN letters already!! (Why neither girl is named Charlotte!)

6. I won’t honorifically name it after one grandfather or great-grandfather over the other.  It’d have to be both, like we did with Ashlynn’s middle name.  There isn’t an easy way to combine ANY of them!!

7. I don’t want it able to be shortened to a nickname (like Andy for Andrew).  If we go to all this effort to choose a name, he will be called by THAT name!  That’s why Corinne is never “Cori” and Ashlynn is never “Ash”-the names are beautiful without being shortened!

No small order, right?  Hopefully we have a name by delivery day!  Fell free to make suggestions in comments, but promise not to be upset if I nix them…I’m picky!!

 

Kids are the Comedians of Life

Can I just be honest for a minute and say that it took me a second to remember the site to type in for my blog?  Probably because my phone has the wordpress app and has made me totally lazy, but mostly because I have not blogged in about forever.  However.  At least a few of you stalk me on facebook so you probably know that I am done with grad school until mid-January-since I posted about being done-very loudly-several times-but that means that now I have much less of an excuse to not blog.  Plus, I missed y’all!  Aww, feel the love and crap.

Anyways, my children-both born and unborn- are a total hoot lately.  Corinne and Ashlynn had their toddler beds both moved into the same bedroom a few days ago as prep for the coming baby, and it was nothing if not memorable.

First Corinne happily advised that we should put the infant in the bushes, on the roof, or in the tiny alcove we call the attic.  She helpfully added that we could cut a window out of the wall for it if we wanted.  Or not.  She didn’t really care, she just didn’t want anyone to touch her stuff.

We decided to do this move now because they are getting bunk beds in December and a sibling in April, and I am so not throwing all that junk at them at once or it will be Kidmaggeddon 2013.

So anyways, moving furniture was fun.  And finding long-lost toys stuffed in cracks behind furniture was super-duper fun.  Also Corinne had like eight rolls of tape in various crevices of her art desk.  Which, what the hell, you know?

So we moved their stuff and rearranged and asked them to put at least some of their millions of toys into a bag for less fortunate kids, and at the end there were like two McDonald’s toys and a used tissue in there because Hey! Generosity!

So there was much joy and jumping on each other’s beds and celebrating.  And then exactly seven minutes later (I looked at the clock) Corinne comes flying out screaming that Ashlynn was touching her stuff and she DID NOT WANT TO SHARE A ROOM OMG NEV-AH!!  Haha too bad.  I am five months pregnant and only move furniture once a day so there.  Also they totally got over it and are doing just fine.  Although I did hear mutinous mutterings of “my side” and “your side,” but all I could think was that made a damn good I Love Lucy episode, so if a reenactment occurs I will probably become parent of the year and just laugh the whole freaking time.

Yay!

Ashlynn has seriously been coming into her own on the whole sense of humor thing, too!  The other day we were watching a movie and the villain got all bitchy and Ashlynn looked at me and said “MAN, does she need a nap!”  Because my kid is awesome that way.

Corinne has decided to try to get her misdeeds done by telling Ashlynn to do them.  So she will whisper something for her to do.  But here’s the thing-she totally sucks at whispering.  Really.  Like I will be in the kitchen and hear her say “HEY ASHLYNN TOUCH THE TV WITH YOUR SUCKER.”  At volume ten.  Because she seems to think if she puts her hand next to her mouth, it makes her whisper?  I guess?  So then I have to tell her I heard her and to cut the crap, and she’s all like “How did you EVER hear me?”  And to set myself up for the teen years I see coming, I tell her that mothers hear everything and there is nowhere to hide.  Ha!

The unborn child is behaving as well as can be expected.  We are about half done baking our bun, as I will be twenty weeks on Monday woohoo!  I get lots of punches and bops and kicks now, and the other day Kirk had his arm across me and it got him good so he told it it was grounded for the next twenty weeks.  But still with the barfiness.  The thing is, I can go two or three days now and be fine but just when I think maybe I am over it, my body is like “Hahaha no way GAG at everything!”

I am just super happy to have an ultrasound on Monday and stop calling it “it.” Gah, I cannot stand that.  Although seriously, major pressure from all quarters to have a boy, what with the two girls and all.  To which I say tough, it will be what it will be and that was decided long before we even knew we were pregnant.

So, the gender announcement.  I want to do something special for this child, because I have seriously dropped the mom ball on this pregnancy.  With the first two I had a little pregnancy calendar that counted down the days and you’d put little stickers on for doctor appointments and stuff.  Well, they don’t sell them anymore so that’s kind of out of my hands.  But I also took a picture every month with the girls and I have a grand total of one for this pregnancy so far.  Ooops.  (Although to some people I am apparently too thin-such as the girl from my grad class that felt the need to inform me that I really should follow doctor’s orders and eat more-what-the-ever-loving-hell?)

So I thought…hey!  Gender announcement and Christmas cards!  And I think I may have been the only person to ever think of this because Google seriously let me down and now I am disillusioned.  It gave me this:

Um, no?

So, I dunno.  I want to do something with maybe a belly shot and a blue or pink ribbon or possibly a blue or pink onesie.  Maybe with a “Do Not Open Until April 2013″ tag or something?  I dunno.  There’s a really fine line here between sweet and cheesy.  So if you have any ideas, let me know!

Happy Hurricane Day!

I live in Northeast Ohio.  We kind of get the short end of the weather stick in a lot of ways.  We’re a little too far north to get lots of tropical temps and all the benefits, and we are a little too far South to get enough snow to do awesome things like build igloos.

However, we do manage to get heat waves, floods, tornadoes, blizzards, earthquakes (!), lake effect snow, droughts, northeasters and massive rain and wind storms.  But a hurricane.  That’s pretty much something we avoid, being smack dab in the middle of a continent and all.  Until now anyways!  Ohio got it’s first hurricane last night!  Woot!  Hi Sandy!  Lots of rain and wind and my house made noises it is probably not supposed to really make!

Anyways, here is my favorite interpretation of Ohio’s four seasons for you to giggle at.  Or point and make fun of.  Whatever.

Season One: Almost Winter (some people call this fall)

Season Two: Winter (this season lasts six months in Ohio)

Season Three: Still Winter (some people call this spring, I think)

Season Four: Construction (aka-when we get the shit done we can’t get done the other ten months of the year. Notice that the grass is all dead from the extreme heat)

I would not have lived for 30+ years in Ohio if I did not enjoy it, so do not fill my comment boxes with nastiness about moving if you don’t like it.  I don’t have to move if I don’t like the weather.  I live in Ohio.  I wait five minutes.